If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
