after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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