Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
