do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
