Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
