Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
