dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
