What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize