just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
