I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
