Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
