Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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