1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
