im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
whose parrot is this?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
