my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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