In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize