dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got inside last night via doggy door
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
