i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
