Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize