am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
