I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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