yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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