herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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