i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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