i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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