whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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