Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Someone shit on the floor
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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