Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
