i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
