So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize