they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
