i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
