Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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