Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
