I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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