I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
