Kiss
Puke
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize