If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
