I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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