My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize