Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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