im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
