i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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