Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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