She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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