stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
