I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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