i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize