it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
