I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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