You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
