Jerry, you need to find god
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
