you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
