you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize
