We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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