i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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