Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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