Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Damn victory sex feels great
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
