Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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