i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
