The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
