Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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