Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
