Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
