I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
