During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
