This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
