Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
