just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
