Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
