Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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