so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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