do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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