he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize