Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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