that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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