I just threw up on my dentist
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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