Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
