To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
sarcasm needs its own font
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
